Confluences

Walks heal me, especially in this wonderland, and with good companions. Yesterday we did a glorious loop in the green and the blue, four women with far-flung stories gathered together in this moment, a blissful convergence. And what we say in the hills stays in the hills, so we vent and we share. And we “see and notice the ceanothus”…along with other delights. And we plan and we laugh. And we recommit to doing the best we can, if we can.

When the sadness comes, as it inevitably does, I nod hello, then shove it away. I need to stay upright and functional. I want to be positive and constructive. I am letting myself feel gladness.

A few nights ago, I dreamed about my beloved father and my old buddy Ted Martinez, who used to be the custodian at the school where I worked, but was so much more than that. Then came a space between dreams, like a station break, and I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful crescent moon. In the morning, my inbox held a wonderful email update from my old school friend Jo, who says I am still seventeen in her head and I must not tell her otherwise. Also, there were pictures and a video from Françoise, who is traveling in Vietnam with her parents, for her mother’s farewell to her native land. This random bounty and unlikely confluence reminded me of when I was in Naples listening to a recording of coyotes howling sent to me from a Ranch friend, while looking out at Mt. Vesuvius through my cousin Luca’s window.

The only conclusion is that time and place all slide around. None of it is fixed or linear, love is unbound and spills over far beyond what we know as logic, and the world is full of wonder.

May it fill our hearts.