As Seen On TV

I was confused about the time of my dental appointment today, showed up too early, and found myself with about half an hour for some not-too-far wandering in Solvang. Ignoring the pastries and tchotchkes, I impulsively ventured into the As Seen On TV store, a matter of mere curiosity.

So now I know where to go for head massagers, ice cream scoopers, gorilla glue, odor removers, lava lamps, slimming undershirts for men, manicure kits, big clips for potato chip bags, garden gloves, extra large keyboard letters, flavor injectors, food choppers, feather dusters, defensive sprays, dog supplies, security cameras, salad spinners, Christian tee-shirts, neck cushions and pillows that light up, and signs like the one above. I can buy a Dignity Mug here and henceforth drink my coffee with confidence, or a Slice-O-Matic: perfect for those with arthritis and joint pain, easy to use even blindfolded.

There was a TV playing an endless loop of infomercials for customers in need of further inspiration.And I don't know whether to view it as testimonial to human ingenuity and the persistence of the marketplace or a depressing commentary on the never-ending creation of more cheap crap, but the place was hopping.

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